Many people have asked if we’re having a boy or girl. I think I’ve avoided the question for so long that people just assume we’re not finding out, or just not sharing. I have 3 more weeks (give or take a few days,) so I think it’s about time we share the news. Sorry it took so long, but I have good reason.
My insurance was able to cover early testing this pregnancy because of my history before having Aria, and during my pregnancy with Aria. Even though I’ll never really be relaxed until I’m holding a baby in my arms, the early test helped ease A little of the stress. We were also able to find out the gender of baby #2 pretty early in this pregnancy from my blood work! The anticipation was killing us! On the way home from the doctors office the day we got our results, we gave the envelope to our local bakery and had them put pink or blue inside of a cupcake for Aria to eat. We got home, set up the camera, and let her have at the cupcake… which took a lot longer than expected. The best part about finding out the gender so early… Charlie was there, waiting for the frosting to drop.
We decided to share the news with family and friends who asked us in person, but we wanted to wait until my 20 week anatomy scan to make sure it was correct before sharing the news on the World Wide Web. My 20 week anatomy scan was March 22nd… the day we said goodbye to Charlie.
We dropped him off that morning for his scheduled chemotherapy appointment. I hugged him and told him that they were going to make him better. It wasn’t the first time he was feeling bad before chemo, but he always bounced back. I figured this time was no different. We then left to go to my anatomy scan 25min away. As we pulled into the hospital we received a call from the vet telling us to come back as soon as we could to discuss Charlie’s condition. We had never received a call like that before so I knew it was bad news.
I tried to pull myself together for my appointment, but a few minutes in to my scan I couldn’t control it. I started sobbing, and the poor women doing my scan had no idea what was going on. My husband explained, and I apologized. We continued, but my mind was on Charlie the entire time. That was the last time I saw my baby in an ultrasound, but I don’t remember any of it. I just wanted to leave.
When we got back to Tufts, Charlie’s oncologist explained to us again how this is what lymphoma does, it shuts down your body so fast, and eventually there’s no coming back. That’s what was happening to our poor boy. We knew the time would come, but we were sure he was a warrior who would push through anything. While we were gone his oncologist told us she was laying on the floor holding him, and he most definitely wasn’t himself. We always assumed when this day came we would put him to rest in our house where he felt comfortable. But In that moment we knew it didn’t matter where he was, it just mattered who he was with. We told him stories, we laughed, we cried, and we thanked him for being the best dog we ever could of asked for. The glue that held us together.
We woke up that morning excited about seeing our baby, but life decided to throw us a curve ball that day. Every time I wanted to post the gender, it brought me back to the sadness of that day. That day will forever be filled with sadness, but I know when our baby girl makes her arrival she’ll give us a lifetime of happiness. How can we not expect pure love and joy when her guardian angel has paws. 🐾
If you want to see the video of Gentle (slowly) eating the cupcake. Check out the YouTube link below.
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