The universe has its way of letting us know that everything is ok. My husband bought me an engagement ring and held on to it for months before he asked me to marry him. He was waiting for the first snow fall. On Thanksgiving morning 2014 we woke up to the most beautiful winter wonderland. We went out to Charlie’s favorite park to enjoy a hike through the perfect fallen snow, and take some pictures. When he found the perfect spot he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I couldn’t have asked for a better moment.
Almost a year later, in the beginning of October 2015, We went to take engagement photos. The pictures turned out perfect, but the day itself was uncomfortably cold. One of the photographers looked outside and said “look, it’s snowing!” Snow flakes in the beginning of October are not very common… even in New England. We looked at each other and suddenly the day didn’t feel so cold anymore.
We chose January 16th, 2016 as our wedding date because we wanted snow covered trees and roof tops. We hoped for a storm the week of the wedding, but we ended up with an almost snowless winter that year. You could still see the grass, and the trees were bare. The morning of our wedding, someone looked outside and yelled “Its snowing!” It wasn’t the big snowfall we had hoped for, but it was just enough to put an even bigger smile on my face on one of the biggest days of my life.
There are many other times when snow has shown us that its more than just a winter nuisance. On our honeymoon when we hit a “snow storm” driving through Georgia…when does it ever snow in Georgia? The first time I found out I was pregnant, minutes later snow started to fall. Some of this may sound like coincidence, and maybe it is! But ever since my husband chose a snowy day to propose to me, snow seems to be the universe’s way of letting us know that everything is going to be ok. That we’re in this together, and we’re in the right place.
Letting Charlie go was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I knew saying goodbye to him was never going to be easy, but for the first time he showed he was ready to leave us. He was in pain, and through all these months of him battling cancer, we never wanted him to suffer. It was time to set him free. We were never going to be ready, but we had to accept the fact that he was. Later that night, I was putting my daughter to sleep. Just as she closed her eyes and we were laying in her quiet room I asked Charlie for some type of sign that he was ok. Nothing happened, so I told myself how stupid that was to ask for that. I went to bed, and dreamt about him all night. I dreamt of him happy and healthy, before his cancer. At 4am I woke up and realized I was sad that my bed was so comfortable. I missed waking up throughout the night to push him over so I could move my legs….and then eventually just finding another spot because he wouldn’t actually move. I sat up and started to cry. My husband rolled over and said “it’s snowing.” My immediate thoughts were “ugh, its almost April, and it’s been warm all week.” …and then I got up and went to the kitchen. I looked out the window and saw the big flakes falling from the sky, and that’s when it hit me. I went back to the bedroom, and we both sat in bed watching the snow fall for almost an hour in silence. We knew this was Charlie’s way of showing us that he was where he was supposed to be. He was giving me the sign I asked him for. The universe was letting us know that everything is going to be ok.
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